Thinking of moving to Italy? Participate in the informative 
This blog is now close to achieving its final look and has:
- 65 posts
- 1508 comments
Today, as I imported the posts, I had the opportunity to read what I wrote over the past year. Posts I had forgotten about!
After 5 years in different countries and states, this was the first year I spent home in the San Francisco Bay.
I would have preferred to have gone to Rome early, but the timing of my trip home was actually perfect. There were things that had me quite worried and I needed to take care of before leaving again. Besides, I get Rome for the next 5 years. At least.
There is something going on that goes beyond the normal rants most of us do, and I must learn to accept and let it slide, because it’s not going anywhere: the poisonous bitterness that some foreigners feel in Italy. In person. On the web. Eeeeverywhere.
As bloggers, we know each other offline, and compare negative comment data. You’d be surprised to know that people actually post comments under different names. They aren’t fooling anyone.
Yes. I do understand the frustrations foreigners feel with Italy’s bureaucracy, but I don’t understand some reactions, much less why some feel empowered by raining on other’s parade. It’s trollish. It’s draining.
In contrast, 8 years ago I met a good friend who studied medicine in Rome, and we still talk once in a while. Not only did he study medicine in Rome, but also at the University of California. He’s European, and he prepared me for most of what I faced when I first moved to Italy around 6 years ago, and warned me about the bitter expat talk.
Well, I cannot thank him enough. I admire his worldly mentality, strength, and sense of humor.
Attitudes are contagious. Good ones and bad ones.
Early on, good friendships like his paved the way for my life in Italy and their success guides me to this day.
Likewise I just love this guy’s contagious attitude as he takes his happy and goofy nature through 42 countries, which encourages others to join in his fun.
Watch Matt’s video! I get the feeling you will see it a lot on the web.
P.S. Since I just imported the posts from my old blog, I moved up 10 random posts for those who are new here.
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What you say is true. A lot of people do nothing but complain about their ‘new home’… I think this applies to all aspects of life: if you are not happy you can complain for a bit but then you need to do something to make things better - be it perhaps moving to a different town.
I practice what I preach and I sometimes wine about Rome… and now my boyfriend and I realise we are ready for the next challenge and then next place to live…
You hit it right on the head!
Oh, rants are common and probably even understandable considering the challenges, but what I see is something totally different.
Some are just downright bitter and can *only* see negativity. How can they live like that? Day, by day, by day filled with toxicity about a place that is not even their country, and spend their days taking it out on others. It’s puzzling to me.
It seems you have the redesign bug *LOL* but I love what you did, well done!
The vid is really cool and I can see why it’s contagious, too funny. I think being an expat means you’ll have to deal with difficulties in general. It’s not just Italy, it’s probably everywhere…
I ran into similar problems here, the fact that you are not familiar with the foreign system is something you could either see as a challenge or something that could easily drag you down…
Trying to stay positive and patient will definitely get you somewhere! Being an expat is not always easy most tend to forget and only wish to see the exciting part until reality hits them, that’s probably when the bitterness starts
It’s all about attitude really
Yes! Jeff in Puglia teases me by saying I have the “Cronblods” (Chronic Blog Designing Syndrome).
It’s the same code you helped me with, but then I duplicated the loop to add a different div class on the first post, and added extra div classes on the sidebar in order to support the extra image files. *sigh* I thought it would be easy, but it took me a while, and this comment section is *still* not aligned properly. *sigh*
You know the ups and downs that expats face, and how important it is to know how to balance them. I definitely agree.
Isn’t the video funny? I loved it
I love the street lamps on your new look! Very elegant and european.
I hope people aren’t giving you a very hard time. Doesn’t seem logical somehow.
Crazy video idea!
Ciao!!!
That video is a riot!
Awww, I’m fine. Thank goodness. It’s something I see around a lot, and I’m learning to ignore.
Sorry, the anonymous was me!
Hehe … I recognized you, anyway
Well you know how I feel about this subject. I understand the frustration, I used to complain about L.A. all the time that is why I moved.
If a family is involved that is tough. But for the single expats not sure why they stay if they are that unhappy. America is going through a tough time as well but at least for an American Expat, they know the language and it’s home.
Not everyday is going to be sunshine and lightness. However, I spent a lot of time with very bitter folks back in L.A. and we used to fuel each other’s fire. That is not a good way to live. It’s toxic. I refuse to do that here.
Yes, we’ve both talked to each other about this a lot and we’re on the same page. I at least find it comforting to know that others see what I see, too.
Hope you join us this week-end! It’ll be fun!
I suppose I’ve just never understood why some people think it’s their absolute duty to give unsolicited advice. I barely take advice from people I know and trust; I certainly don’t appreciate it from strangers (especially anonymous ones!).
Couldn’t resist the Chaplin dude
What was your Expats in Italy user name again? Hehe… sounds a lot like me, actually.
Especially anonymous ones. Exactly. I think the mean, anonymous thing is what gets me the most.
I have been living in Italy for almost 15 years and I have had some horrible difficulties together with moments of extreme joy. I remember sobbing and ranting at my poor husband in some of my toughest moments. Somethings still make me shake my head, but I made the decision at one point to BE happy, to LOOK for the positive and to WANT to enjoy my life here. Nothing is perfect. No country, or city is a Utopia. Some things take getting used to and if it is too horrible to endure, leave. Sure I miss *home* but this has become home as well. I have become pretty ruthless with the nay sayers and constant complainers. After almost 15 years, I have earned the right to enjoy Italy with all its faults and follies and I have learned to see past them.
15 years? Uau. I think I’ve read your comment and Diana’s a hundred times. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. This is exactly why I learn so much from blogging, and why I’m still here.
Like you, I’ve also learned to balance the challenges with the blessings, because it’s definitely worth it to me. But I have yet to learn how to look past energy draining individuals, but I’ve been working on it for a long time now…
Thank you for the link love, sweety! Your blog is looking mighty fine
There’s always lots of link love for you Maryann
When I first came to Europe in 1994 (Germany at that time), I started out by getting involved in things like the American Women’s Club — and moved on about two seconds later. It seemed to me that sitting around and kvetching was about the worst thing I could do. People who move to another country put themselves out of their comfort zone as a matter of course, and some cope with it better than others. Stepping firmly out of the ex pat mode helped me to learn two languages and adjust faster (albeit with more personal trauma than I care to admit).
I could never bear the toxicity of staying within my own nationality as a social group. YIKES!!!!!
Romanticizing the life we led before, the country we lived in before, and the friends we left behind is easy. But stepping back into that life would never be like it was before anyway. Therefore, we pucker up our butts, raise our chins a bit, and move forward, for better or worse—hopefully with the thought that life is certainly about collecting interesting experiences, as far fetched and as far flung as they might be.
Also, you’ve done some fantastic work with the blog. Extremely impressed…